tv Late Night With Jimmy Fallon NBC November 12, 2010 12:35am-1:35am EST
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's gonna be fun! look at this crowd. welcome to the show, you guys. welcome, buddy. all right. tha you so much. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome. good man, buddy. i'm in a good od. i just read about this thing. this guy in indonesia wrote this book about president obama. did you hear about this? it's 5,472 pages long, the thickest book in the world. the book is called "one of obama's speeches." [ light laughter ] that's the name of it. [ laughter ] here you go. >> thank you. >> jimmy: no problem. no problem, buddy. >> steve: oh, that's just the index. [ laughter >> jimmy: yeah, here's the other half here. hey, listen to this, guys. travelers can now get flu shots at jfk airport here in new york city. that's good, because enever i see how things are run in an airport, my first thought is, "these people should be in
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charge of more things." shouldn't they? [ laughter ] they need a little something else. [ cheers and applause ] this isn't good. a man in pennsvania was busted for smoking marijuana at a hospital while his child was being born. [ laughter ] everyone could tell the guy was stoned because he was like, "oh, man, he looks just like me." [ laughter ] and the doctor wasike, "sir, that's a mirror." [ laughter ] "your by is over this way." "oh, man, he looks like an alien." [ laughter ] speaking of babies, a woman gave bih to a healthy baby girl in the back of a new yo city b this week. youould tell the woman wasn't going to make it to the hospital. her contractions arted coming every $4.60. [ laughter ] she wasn't going to make it. [ cheers and applause ] aw, give it up for that. thank you so much. some major financial news, you guys. china is expected to overtake
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the u.s. as the world's biggest economy in the nt two years. amerins couldn't believe it. they were like, "that hasn't happened already?" [ laughter ] "i thought that was last year." this is a crazy sry. a kindergarten teacher in florida was arrested for trafficking oxycodone. other teachers got suspicious when she had the only class in school with a six hour naptime. [ laughter ] ach in your cubbyhole -- [ cheers and applause ] [ humming ] hey, this is big, you guys. after 40 years, movie critic gene shalit has left the "today" show. [ audience aws ] yeah, he'a good man. i guess they were worried people are going to miss him though, because look what they've done to meredith. this is just weird. i mean, that's just -- [ laughter ] she still looks pretty. get this. a powerball ticket worth $128 million was sold at an adult bookstore in michigan. [ cheers and applause ] of course, after taxes, the guy will only get about half that money. and after his wife finds out where he bought it, he'll only get about half of that money.
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[ laughter ] sot's almost like he didn't win the lottery. and finally -- this is just insane. a woman in illinois was arrested for hitting a police officer with a sex toy. [ laughter ] luckily there's a good chance she'll get off. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show. give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, no, you didn't. that is the legendary biz markie right there. [ cheers and applause ] sitting in with the roots. biz, you're on tour with yo gabba gabba through december 12th. how long you doin' it? >> i'm -- through december 12th. but we just got 40 more dates added in january. we've got to do things for the
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kids. plus i gotnother tv show on centric called "masters of the mix." me, kid capri, and just blaze is the host. it's on wednesdays, 10:30, fridayst 12:30. but i always watch you every night. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thas what i'm talkin' about. that's my man. biz markie, he's legendary. we've got a fun show tonight, you guys. from the new film "morning glory," one of my favorite actors, jeff goldblum is here. [ cheers and applause ] he's a great man. from the popular show "human target," mark valley is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] what a great guy. hey, to all the veterans out there, i just want to say happy veterans day to everyone out there. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. mark valley -- mark valley is a veteran as well, so we'll thank him for his service when he comes out. we have a perrmance from th one and only robyn tonight. [ cheers and applause ] it's a good song.
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all right, guys. it is thursday, which means it's time to remix the clips. here we go. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> jimmy: w, this is where we take stuff that we found on the internet, tv, stuff that's weird, funny or interesting. and we just have our very own questlove remix it once we get the clips. our first clip comes from the "today" show. matt lauer was interviewing former president george w. bush, and at one point bush was asked about his drinking and why he had to stop. >> so i'm drunk at the dinner table at mother and dad's house in maine. and my brothers and sister are there, laura is ther i'm sitting next to a beautiful woman, a friend of mother and dad's. and i said to her, out loud, "what sex like after 50?" laughter ] >> silence. >> total silence. and not only silence, but, like, serious daggers -- >> from your mom? >> yeah, and my wife. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "what is sex like after 50?"
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wow, that clip of bush remind us of a classic clip from two years ago. this is an abc reporter who was covering the 2008 election. and he told us something about barack obama that even barack obama didn't know. >> to barack obama, the son of a black man from kenya, and a white man from kans. [ laughter ] now, no matter what your politics, that is a moment for the history books. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i didn't know that at all about our president. doing a report on bark obama. this next clip comes from the new "family feud." man, i love steve harvey. he's the new host. he's awesome. he's hilarious. in thiclip, steve asks the contestant what is the last thing a burglar wants to see en they're breaking into a house. >> something a burglar would not want to see when he breaks into a house. [ buzzer ] >> naked grandma! >> naked -- huh? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: i wouldn't want to see that, either. i n't want to see that either. that is so funny. "naked grandma!" [ laughter ] for our last clip, what do you get wh you take one weatherman and one cockroach and put them in the same newsroom at the same time? apparently total chaos. >> pushing across central florida, so placesike orlando, daytona beach, the cape canaveral area, vero beach will be getting in on the heavier rainfall. and eventually -- ooh! [ laughter ] i am so sorry, bill. , my god! [ laughter ] oh, this is what just happened. that thing was crawling on my leg. [ laughter ] oh, god, is there -- [ screaming ] [ laughter ] oh, my god!
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oh, n [ laughter ] oh, my god! >> jimmy: poor dude, man. okay. those are the four clips we have today. questlove, let's see what you can do, buddy. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ what is sex what is sex like what is sex like after 50 ♪ ♪ sex, sex like after 50 ♪ ♪ sex like after 50 ♪ ♪ sex, sex like after naked grandma ♪ ♪ sex, selike after ked grandma ♪ ♪ sex, sex like after naked grandma ♪ ♪ sex, sex like after naked grandma ♪ ♪ naked, naked grandma naked grandma ♪ ♪h, my god naked grandma ♪ ♪ oh, my god naked grandma ♪ ♪ oh, my god naked andma ♪ ♪ oh, my god naked grandma ♪ ♪ oh, my god oh, my god
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♪ oh, my oh, my oh, my oh, my god ♪ ♪ that is a moment for the history books ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:here you go. give it up for questlove. all right. we'll be right back with "cell phone shootout." come on back. [ cheers d applause ] ♪ male superhero: hey tammy, did you know that in just 15 minutes you could save hundreds on car insurance by switching to geico? female superhero: i totally knew that. male superhero: and 15 mines is the exact amount of time we put into this commercial! female superhero: so, this half-baked commercial is to prove a point about switching to geico? male superhero: you know it lady-friend. female serhero: what is your super power, anyway? male superhero: i stand awkwardly in one place for way too long.
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whoo! how's your shave? you can feel it pulling... the -- the stubble. see how shaving can cause irritating tug and pull? [ male announcer ] that's why gillette's introducing fusion proglide. it's like it's gliding down. [ me announcer ] turns shaving into gliding. new fusion proglide. i would still be making ses. i love the blackberry style. flip phone's great. for me, it's cleaner, tighter. and cures the pocket call. [ woman ] it's important as a band to have a web presence constantly. i love t flip. the blackberry style has a full keyboard. from the social feed app, i can genuinely connect with the fans. [ guy ] commit tthe flip. this is what time it i ♪ [ male announcer ] introducing the new blackberry style. available from sprint. ♪ was complicated, with a series of stepped altitude changes. [ air traffic controller ] okay, 245, proceed to your next cleared altitude. [ sighs ] [ male announcer ] today, truecourse flight management systems from ge
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three people down here with cell phone cameras. a bunch of images are going to flash by on the sharp 108. really fast -- six images a second. and you're going to snap a picture with your cell phone as they go by. whatever you take a picture of, that's what you win. steve, what kind of prizes are we playing for here? >> steve: well, jimmy, today we have a do-it-yoursf bust of king ferdinand, $1,000 brought to you by htc phones, and the gibberish singers. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my gosh, i love the gibberish singers. i grew up listening to you guys. i mean, you provided the soundtrack to my first kiss, my hih school graduation and the first dance at my wedding. would you play something for us now? would you md? [ singing gibberish ] ♪
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♪ ♪ [ yellingibberish ] >> jimmy: guys. guys. [ laughter ] don't argue, please. [ laughter ] all right here we go. higgins, who do we have playing "cell phone shootout" tonight? >> steve: well, jimmy, tonight's contestants are jessie, josie and teresa. get your cell phones cocked and ready. get dn here. "cell phone shootout" is a registered trademark of the jimmy fallon program. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you so much for being here. what is your name and where are you from? >> my name's jessie, and i'm from south oxnard, california. >> jimmy: welcome. >> i'm josie, and i'm from florida, but i live in new york. >> jimmy: good man. teresa from new york city. >> jimmy: very, very good. [ cheers and applau ] okay. what are you playing for tonight? >> tt fidel castro rock. looks pretty savage.
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>> jiy: oh, yeah. that's a doorstop, right? >> steve: yeah, it's a doorstop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: fidel castro doorstop. we've had that since day one. no one has ever won that. >> steve: let's hope today's the day. >> jimmy: that's a great one, yeah. what are you playing for? >> i want the nintendo. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. the nintendo. sure you don't want the tobacco mannequin dude? [ laughter ] pretty cool. what are you playing for? >> i'm going for the burrito. >> jimmy: you're going for the burrito. that looks like a good one, too. >> yummy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: pretty decent burrito. all right, you guys, you're all going to use the brand-new htc g2 smartphone. it's a 4g phone with a 5 megapixel camera in there. buddy, there you are. [ laughter ] now, you guys are going to use these phones for yr cell phones. here you go, right there. but also, yoget to keep them. cheers and applause ] ♪ unlock the camera. u know how to do it? turn it on like this, and then you lock it with the screen. here you go. there you go, buddy. all right, good. turn arounand face the sharp 108. get your cell phones ready.
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don't fire until i tell you to, okay? i'll give you the signal. let's start the loop. ♪ ready, aim, aim more, shoot! all right. stop the loop! stop the loop. player number one, let's see what you got, buddy. >> i think i got winner. >> jimmy: you got a winner? let's see what you got. whoa! fidel castro doorstop! >> steve: whoa! ♪ for half a century fidel castro kept the corrupting influence of apitalism at bay from his beloved cuba. now you can keep chilly drafts and troublesome pets abay with this official "late night with jimmy fallon" fidel castro doorstop. viva la revolucion, jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: congratulations. that's what you wanted. >> yeah, i got it. >> jimmy: so good. let's see what you've got, buddy. you t -- "law & order" applesauce. >> steve: ooh, you've won a jar of "law & order" applesauce. you love the show. now you can love the applesauce. "law & order." with fresh storylines ripped
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from the headlines, "law & order" applesauce with fresh apples ripped from healthy washington apple tree have it for breakfast! then repeat applesauce for lunch and dinner, just like the show, jimmy. >> jimmy: congratulations. that's gonna be real good. >> it's gonna be tasty. >> jimmy: i'm really excited. i'm really excited. uh-oh, this is pretty cool. leftover food. >> steve: ooh, leftovers. the me of leftovers literally means food that is left over en someone is done eating. in this case, that someone is cory, who had chinese food for lunch today, but he couldn't finish all of hifood, so we are literally giving it away. jimmy? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that was cory, one of our bloggers. he ordered that today, and he said it was pretty good. that's pretty awesome. look at this. you also kind of got a piece of another one. maybe you'll trade that prize in. i think -- let's just give you this prize. would you rather have the seco one? yeah? >> yeah, i'll take the second one. >> jimmy: you'll take the second one? it's holding hands. 15 seconds of holding hands. >> steve: ooh, you've won 15 seconds of holding hands with
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the cell phone shootout contestant of your choice. holding hands is a fun and convenient way to demonstrate affection and establi trust. so pick a pal and start holding hands. >> jimmy: who will it be? who would you like to hold hands with, contestant number one or contestant number two? [ laughter ] >> i'll take number two. >> jimmy: number two, get in there. all right, there you go. 15 seconds -- let's start the clock now. [ ches and applause ] beautiful, beautiful. oh, my gosh. that's it. that's it. no, no -- [ cheers and applause ] step back, please. no, step back. step back away, yeah. you guys, also, there's a for everybody. let's have one more performance from the gberish singers. can you make it through a song without arguing? [ cheers and applause ] >> i think so. >> jimmy:et's hear one. [ singing gibberish ]
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v.p. of video. president of playdates. queen of carpools. [ beeping ] director of dinner plans. [ woman ] navigate to korzon café. a.k.a., mom. the mobile g2 by htc. with 4g speeds, it's as turbocharged ayou. what do they want? in order to save our cilization, we must schmeplicate with the male of your species. in exchange, we offer this... sceplicate? bud light? [ buzzes ] here we go! i'm doing it... for all of us. [ male announcer ] it's the sure sign of a good time. the just-right taste of bud light. [ woman #1 ] the guys are gone. here we go. whooooh! whoooohoo! whoohoo!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very nice. >> thank you very much. thanks so much. >> jimmy: welcome back to the program. always a joy to have you here. >> greater joy for me. thank you. >> jimmy: oh, please. and you just came back from -- [ british accent ] -- "london town." >> yes -- listen your accent. do it again. do it again. >> jimmy: london town. [ british accent ] >> "perfect. perfect." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that was good. >> that's the way they say -- do you know that they have -- you know they say vitamin, and we know that they're saying vitamin. >> jimmy: controversy. >> controversy, but we know that they'd be saying controversy, et cetera, et cetera. i'm going to lay a word on you, and it's something that i heard over there in the last four months. they were talking and they said something, something, something, mccromie. >> jimmy: mccromie? >> that's what i sd. i said, "mccromie, would anybody know what they're talking about?" we have no britishers here. [ yelling ] we do? so take yourselfut of it. so you know mccromie probably.
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would you know what they're talking about if they said mccromie? >> mmy: no. >> macrame. 's macrame. i said, "mccromie?" "you know, that thing they -- the vine things they put on your belt, and they put it on flowers and stuff like that." "you mean macrame?" >> jimmy: wow. >> i said, "if you go over to america and say that, people will be" -- >> jimmy: they'll throw you out of the party. [ light laughter ] >> i don't know about that. >> jimmy: well, i'm nosure. but in any case, what were you doing over there? >> i was doing this play. neil simon play, "prisoner of second avenue" with mercedes ruehl, the great mercedes ruehl. >> jimmy: i love her. >> i love her to bits. kevin spacey -- [ cheers and alause >> jimmy: "lost in yonkers." >> "lost in yonkers." >> jimmy: a neil simon movie, wasn't it? >> yes, and also the one with robin williamand jeff bridges where she plays jeff bridges' girlfriend. >> jimmy: "popeye"? >> no. [ laughter ] no, you're thinking of shelley duvall. no, which one is it? >> audience: "fisher king." >> jimmy: "fisher king." >> "fisher king"? "fisher king." >> jimmy: we were playing the movie game back there. >> play the movie game, so if we -- that's right. so it takes us to "fisher king." it goes actor, movie, actor, movie.
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okay, "fisher king." we have to name another actor in that movie now. >> jimmy: jeff bridges. >> jeff bridges takes us to "king kong," takes us to jessica lange. jump in, jump in. >> jimmy: "grey gardens." >> "grey gardens" takes us to drew barrymore," takes us to -- >> jimmy: "e.t." >> "e.t." takes us to henry thomas, takes us to -- >> jimmy: was he in "a river runs through it," henry thomas? wasn't he brad pitt's broer in some movie? >> okay, "river runs through it" takes us to brad pitt, takes us to "burn after reading." i like that movie very much. [ cheers and applause ] i like that very much. >> jimmy: this is a fun game. i would love -- i could play this all night with you. >> so could i. but we have a limited aunt of time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i got to say, yo voice sounds very good, because i heard you're taking voice lessons. >> you heard correctly. that's right. >> now, what is -- why? >> i'm a humble student. i like to continually develop my thing. and i don't have what you have, those natural pipes. you probably had never took a lesson in your life. isn't tt true? >> jimmy: that is true.
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>> okay, well, you're a -- i sit at your feet. i bow to you. [ light laughter ] jimmy: but that's why i'm not a singer, though. >> you are a nger. you're very much a singer. you've got -- you can do anything with that little mechanism here. it's such a strange and mysterious mechanism. i like to say there are people who need to sdy it. and, you know, we do exercises. we go -- [ blubbering ] all the teachers teach that. [ blubbering ] nice. [ blubbering ] that'an a-plus already. >> jimmy: really? i sound better. >> really? >> jimmy: ye, i feel it. [ light laughter ] i feel a little -- do we just do -- do you take lessons just for fun? >> just for fun and, you know, i feel likit helps me. i just got offstage. i had to scream and shout every night. i had to make myself heard. so i had to do -- you know, i'm always interested in making it better. >> jimmy: we got to talk about "morninglory." >> i love that movie. yes, please. whatever you want. >> jimmy: "morning glory." now, this -- it's a cool emise. you got your harrison ford here. he's a good guy. >> good guy? great actor.
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>> jimmy: great actor. >> harrison ford, especially when he does funny, funny films. "working girl," i know y're a -- speaking of the movie game, i know youe a fan of "working girl." >> jimmy: i do love the movie "working girl." melanie griffith. >> oh, i love it. >> jimmy: how funny was harrison ford in that? >> so funny and so endearing. and i cry at the end of that movie. oh, my god. ♪ she goes, "joan cusack, guess where i am." ♪ let the river run >> jimmy: she celebrates, and like, "i have my own office!" and the camera pulls out, and it'sundreds of offices. >> yes, it's the part of the story of women -- >> jimmy: i love it. >> i love to pieces. and harrisoford, that first moment, i think the dos are closing, and she says -- you remember? she goes, "oh, come on, you kind of like me." and heoes -- >> jimmy: what'd he say? >> he goes, "nah." right? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so good. >> you go, "wow, harrison ford, always being funny." it's very charming. >> jimmy: so he's in the movie. >> he's in the movie. diane keaton is in the movie. i love her. [ cheers and applause ] legend. i love that movie "love and death." y like "love and death"? "love and death," early woody allen. >> jimmy: oh, yeah.
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>> you know -- "no, it's a greater honor for me." "no, it's a greater honor for me." "no, you must be don francisco's sister." "no, it's a greater honor for me." "your turn." "wheat, fields of wheat. i grow a tremendous amount of wheat. cream of wheat." no? look at that film. it's a wonderful movie. [ applause ] >> jimmyi'll be getting' it. 'cause then i can play this game with you. >> "love and death." joaquin phoenix -- i don't mean to drop names -- knows every line from that show. he loves it. >> jimmy: es he really? and you were with diane keaton in "annie hall." >> we passed each other. i had a miniscule part in "annie hall" long before you were born. >> jimmy: the one and only. i mean, come on, jeff goldblum, you guys. this guis amazing. [ cheers and applause ] and now you're a producer. you play a producer in this movie -- for a morning show. >> i'm the boss. yeah, the center of this movie -- the real center of this movie is rachel mcadams, the great rachel mcadams. [ cheers and applause ] talented, beautiful -- she's everything, and charming, most talted and lovely. and in this movie, winning to the nth degree. so, so charming. and she's making her way in the world of morning shows. our show is a fictional -- >> jimmy: like a "today" show typof thing? >> like "today" show, but it's
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last rated. it's kind of rotten, and i interview her and see if she can produce it and see if she can do something -- that's the show. >> jimmy: the gist of it. we have a clip from the movie. it's out right now. here's a clip from "morning glory." it's the great jeff goldum, you guys. >> the anchors of the show are difficult and semi-talented. >> oh, i think colleen peck is a pro. > heinous. >> paul mcvee is a fine reporter. >> foul. >> this is one of the most legendary news divisions in the entire history of television. "daybreak" just needs someone who believes in it, who understands it. a national platform is an invaluable resource that no story is too low or too high to reach for. >> are you going to sing? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy:ou know how to do it. you lay it right in there. fastballs. more with jeff goldblum when we comback, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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but this is warm, fresh-baked strawberry toaster strudel. [ music ] see the difference? pillsbury toaster strudel, the one kids want to eat. than ltening there'to our favorite sos. there's nothing we love more than listeng our favorite songs. but our favorite thing isating tono's pizza rolls. buour vorite thing eating tono's piz rolls. ♪ we're the kids in america oh,h ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah! we're backith the great jeff goldblum. his new film "morning glory" is in theaters currently. now, last time you were here, you pled a little piano for us. >> i did. >> jimmy: it was very nice of you to do that. thank you so much. >> oh, thank you.
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my pleasure. this is much better. i don't like these pillows. my g length is too long for this. can i do that? look, that's perfect. >> jimmy: is that better? >> yeah, it's much better. if we have this -- look, i'm a -- what am i? >> jimmy: no, it looks great. [ laughter ] >> thank you very much. pleaseexcuse me. >> jimmy: either way, either way. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: yeah, but you came on, and you played the piano, and we've been getting letters, e-mails -- >> what? >> jimmy: telegrams, western union >> what? >> jimmy: asking us -- "dear jimmy -- stop." [ laughter ] "please have jeff come on -- stop." and, dude, ey said if you get jeff goldblum in the room with biz markie, could you make that happ? [ cheers and applause ] and i go, "i don't know. i don't know." i said, "i've got to be serious, i don't know." now that you're here, i was just wondering -- could you make america happy? >> yes. >> jimmy: you can? [ cheers and applause ] >> i say yes. if it's okay with biz mare. >> jimmy: this is it. >> it would be a greater honor for me, if it's okay with you. >> hey, yo, jim. >> jimmy: give us a little something. give us a little something. do you mind? >> rlly? sure, geez. holy cats, my pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] okay, i think i know.
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all right, i think i know. okay, ready? ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ have you ever met a girl that you tried to date but a year to make love ♪ ♪ she wanted you to wait let me tell you a story of my situation i was talking to this girl ♪ ♪ from the u.s. nation the way that i met her was on tour at a concert she had long hair ♪ ♪ and a shot mini skirt i just got off stage dripping pouring with sweat i was walking ♪ ♪ through the crowd hey guess who i met i whispered in her ear come to the picture booth ♪ ♪ so i could ask you some questions to see if you're 100 proof i asked her her name ♪ ♪ she said blah, blah, blah she has nine ten pts and a very big bra i took a couple flicks ♪ ♪ and she was enthused i said how do you like the show she said i was very amused ♪ ♪ i started throwing bass she started throwing back midrange
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but when i spng ♪ ♪ the question she acted kind of strange then when i asked do you have a man ♪ ♪ she tried to pretend e said no i don't i only have a friend ♪ >> come on jeff! i'll take itrom he. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ o baby you you got what i need but you say he's just a frid ♪ ♪ you say he just a friend oh baby you you got what i need ♪ ♪ butou say he's just a friend you say he's just a friend oh baby you ♪ ♪ you got what i need but you say he's just a friend you say he's just a friend ♪ ♪ oh baby you you got what i need but you say he's ♪ ♪ just a friend you say he's just a friend ♪ >> jimmy: my thanks to the great jeff goldblum, biz markie. mark valley joins us next.
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>> jimmy: our next guest stars as the protection expert christopher chance in the action-packed fox show "human target," which returns for its second season wednesday at 00 p.m. please welcome mark valley, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: mark valley, welcome back. >> yeah, thanks. >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. i want to say, i know you're a veteran, so happy veterans day. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for your service. how ng did you -- how long did you serve? >> five years -- five years activduty. >> jimmy: is that right? [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: thank you so much. thank you, thank you, thank you very much. >> you're welcome. >> jimmy: what were you, in the army? >> i was in the army, and yeah, once you -- any army people out there? [ cheers ] thank you for your service. yeah.
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i was in the army for five years. i was stationed in germany for e most part. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: how do you go from the army to acting? >> well, i came back from the gulf war and i was still stationed in berlin, and i was leaving the army. i wasn't sure what i was going to do. and somebody said, "do you want to be anxtra on a film?" and i thought, "well, why not?" >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> yeah, i'd give it a try. >> jimmy: and you just got into it. did you takecting lessons, or get into it -- >> no, no, no. well, i worked as an extra, and i remember -- >> jimmy: what is that? >> you ever work as an extra? >> jimmy: no. i've been c out of films completely, yeah. [ laughter ] so, it looks like i'm an extra, but i had lines at one point. yeah, yeah, yeah. i was just in the background just eating a sandwich or something. my mom was freaking out. it's like, ", my god, that's the baby." >> you were in "band of brothers"? >> jimmy: i was in "band of brothers." yeah, yeah, yeah. >> in the jeep. >> mmy: yeah, i had -- it was an awful situation. again, like jeff goldblum, i don't know how to drive stick. and it was a world war ii jeep, d tom hanks w directing. and i'm nervous, and he -- he wants me to drive the jeep. all i have is one line, and i drive the jeep and take off. i go, "good luck, boys," and i
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take off, you know? [ laughter ] but i don't know how to drive a stick shift. so, i go to tom hanks -- to the guys acting, i go, "good luck, guys." and put it in first, put the clutch in, start it up, and then like -- [ laughter ] so he's like -- yeah. so it's awful, awful. and all these actors are like, "this guy is the worst. i can't believe you hired this guy." tom hanks is like, "all right, here's the deal, jimmy. everyone is getting mad. so just do it again. just push in the clutch, and i'm gonna have guys push the jeep." [ laughter ] so, i'm so nervous, 'cause it's tom hanks directing, that i forget to put the clutch in. [ laughter ] so the wheels don't move. so there's two guys pushing the jeep. >> like, "what are you doing back there?" >> jimmy: they're trying to push the jeep. i'm like, "good luck, guys." [ laughter ] [ applause ] slowly, slowly. and everne was like, this guy -- i'm going to get fired. and then they ended up just -- they ended up just doing it later, just sound effects.
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you hear -- i go,good luck," and the camera ion something else you hear -- [ makes engine noise ] like a jeep -- that was my big scene. awful, awful. >> i was an extra. they asked me to be an extra -- it was a movie about, like, soldiers, and it took place in berlin. and anthony hopkins was in it. i said"sure, i'll be an extra." and they de me wait in this holding room. it was kind of dark and damp, with all these other -- we couldn't see -- it was dark in there. and then an english guy came in and said, "you sit here, stir your coffee, read a magazine." and i did that, and they start this scene. and they said cut, and i'm kind of confused what's going on. and anthony hopkins sits across fr me, and he had just won the academy award the year before. so this is my first acting experice. sitting down, and -- he's like, so, you're -- what do you do?" and i said, "i'm a soldier." he's like, "you're a soldier? you're playing a soldier." i was like, "yeah." and he goes, "come here." tells the director to come over. and he goes,john, he's actual a soldier. he's actually a real soldier." and john schlesinger, i'd heard he directed "maratn man," and i was really excited 'cause i started gushing. i was like, "oh, mgod, that movie, you know, when i was a k, when roy scheider, like,
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finally escaped frothat prison and, you know, from running laps inside the prison, he could escape and just keep running -- that inspired me so much at a young age. because i was running distance, and i wasn't reallsure of myself. and i just want to thank you for making that movie." and he looked at me kind of quizzically, and then he left. and this other actor at the table leaned over, and he goes, "dude, that wasn't 'marathon man.'" [ laughter ] "that was 'the jerio mile.'" [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you described a totally different movie? >> i'm like, "but it was roy scheider." he's like, "roy scheider did more than one movie." >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. embarrassing. gosh. t here you are -- >> that was my first experience. >> "human target" season two starting up. you actually play a human target. people hire you so that you get killed instead of them. >> yes, he gets -- he goes -- he's a very high-priced body guard. he puts himself in danger. >> jimmy: yeah, and you do a lot of your own stunts, right? >> mm-hmm. i drove a jeep in one episode. [ laughter ] i drove a jeep.
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>> jimmy: i would have quit the job immediately if they said -- yeah, jeep. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you drove a jeep. >> yeah, i drove a jeep. it was a canadian jeep. i don't know if they're easier than american ones. but -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't know. it was just awful. what did youo with the jeep? >> i drove a jeep. i was actually -- i consider it kind of like an action movie milestone. i drove a jeep through a tent. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i almost did that, too. [ laughter ] yeah, at one point, yeah. [ laughter ] i messed up that scene. how is canada? i love canada. >> canada is great. the canadians are really nice. they're really sweet people, you know. >> jimmy: they are. they're very polite. >> they're very polite. they say -- but it's kind of misleading. they might say, "i'm sorry," you know -- because you could -- you know, maybe a canadian will, you know, "i'm sorry," bump into you by mistake. and they'll say, "ohi'm sorry," and it's fine. but if you bump into a canadian, they'll say -- if you just like gently brush them or something at a starbucks -- they have starbucks there, too. they might say, "oh, i'm sorry." you know, but if you kind of bumped them enough to spill their coffee, then you'll hear like, "sorry," which actually means like- [ laughter ] "you idiot in american."
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>>immy: they have thee different levels of "i'm sorry. >> "coming up here -- just because you passed a health bill, you think you can come up here and spill our coffee." >> jimmy: very, very nice, yeah. >> "we're canadians." >> jimmy: the last time you were here -- i got to say, you said that you were going to do a war reenactment in your hometown? >> yeah, i did a war reenactment. >> jimmy: and, you did it. >> i did it. >> jimmy: how was that it >> it was a really interesting experience. >> jimmy: really? >> it was fun. i -- well, because i said it on this show, i just pictured some 10-ye-old kid saying, "where were yoat the re-enactment? you said on 'jimmy fallon' you were gonna do the reenactment." so -- i had to do it, yeah. jimmy: you had to do it. we got some good shots of you right here. here's you in costume, there. or, i shouldn't say in costume. [ laughter ] >> that's me right there. >> jimmy: that's you? yea yeah. i thought that was you there. but that is you there, you're right. >> yeah >> jimmy: now, what reenactment was this? >> this guy -- this guy'same is george. it's a french and indian war battle reenactment that we had in my hometown, akinsburg, new york. and yeah, i come to find out --
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i didn't kn what i was until they gave me my uniform. they said i was a french marin >> jimmy: oh, there you go. you get into character? >> yeah -- apparently -- and somebody gave me a nice little scarf there. apparently they had a don't ask/don't tell policy back then. [ laughter ] l >> jimmy: no, i don't think so. yeah, you have a nice little scarf there -- look. it looks good. >> and this guy was english. this guy was -- hwas an engsh -- the english won. >> jimmy: the english won. >> they win every year. they n the reenactment every year. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's unbelievable the way that happens. mark valley, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] check out "human target" wednesdays at 8:00 p.m. on fox. robyn performs nt. come on back, everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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does she love you better than i can ♪ ♪ there's a big black sky over my town i know where you're at i bet she's around ♪ ♪ yeah i know it's stupid but i just gotta see it for myself i'm in the corner ♪ ♪ watching you kiss her oh i'm right over here why can't you see me ♪ ♪ oh i'm giving it my all but i'm not the girl you're taking home ♪ ♪ i keep dancing on my own
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i keep dcing on my own i'm just gonna dance all night ♪ ♪ i'm all messed up i'm so out of line stittos and broken bottles ♪ ♪ i'm spinning around in circles i'm in the corner watching you kiss her ♪ ♪ oh i'm right over here why can't you see me oh ♪ ♪ i'm giving it my all but i'm not the girl you're taking home i keep dancing on my own ♪
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♪ i keep dancing on my own so far away but still so nr the lights go on ♪ ♪ the music dies but you don't see me standing heri just came to say good-bye ♪ ♪ i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh i'm giving it my all ♪ ♪ but i'm not the girl you're taking home i keep dancing on my own i keep dancing on my own ♪ ♪ i'm in the corner watching you kiss her oh i'm right over here ♪ ♪ why can't you see me oh
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